Just look at this. It’s a photo of me and my man, snapped 20 years ago on our first official date at a Labor Day cookout in 1992. You can bet that Pearl Jam was blaring on a boom box nearby.
We were pretty smitten with each other immediately, and remained inseparable from that weekend on. How could I have NOT been smitten with that man? Just look at him, with his Air Force flat top and tanned skin, fresh from a weekend of jet skiing at the lake. Within a year of this photo, I left Louisiana Tech University for a life as an Air Force wife to this gorgeous KC-10 boom operator.
In the 20 years since this photo was taken, our life together has been filled with all the things that every married couple’s life is filled with…happiness, beautiful memories, fun adventures, and conflict. Lots of it. We had more than our share of conflict from the very beginning from a variety of factors: a significant age difference, a blended family, separations due to long Air Force TDY’s and deployments…I could go on, but I won’t. Why? Because even though we had many cards stacked against us, here we are. Twenty years later, our devotion to each other stronger than ever. And it’s all because of Jesus.
Recently, a friend told us that that we have the perfect marriage. I laughed when he said it, knowing that there is absolutely no such thing as a perfect marriage. That would imply that Scott and I are perfect people. We are not. We are both sinners filled with pride, obstinance and selfishness. The first 10 years of our marriage was actually pretty rocky. Looking back, it seems that everything we did was fueled by selfishness. Enter Jesus. Through some pretty awful circumstances, Jesus opened our eyes to the depth of our sinful hearts, exposed us to the truth of his gospel and saved us. That began the long journey of redemption and sanctification for us as individuals, and the redemption of our marriage. It’s been hard, there have been hundreds of late night, tear filled conversations filled with repentance to God and to each other. It’s still going on today. And it’s worth it. Our marriage would not be what it is today without the grace and mercy of Christ. I honestly don’t have it in me to die to myself daily for the sake of my man, no matter how amazing he is. (And he is pretty amazing.) But with Jesus’ help, I am able. And Scott is able. And it is a beautiful life that we have together, filled with joy and laughter and love and friendship as we serve Jesus together.
I could go on and on about all that Jesus has done in our lives both individually, and in our marriage. At one time our marriage was a total mess…but now we are truly a miracle. I was reminded by our Pastor this past Sunday that the proper response to what God has done in our lives is to tell others. So I am. If your marriage feels like a total mess, submit to Jesus and let him do the work he wants to do in you individually. It is there that he will begin to perform a miracle. First in you, then in your marriage.
I love you, Scott Konieczka. Thank you for continually submitting your life to King Jesus, for leading me well as I try do the same, and for loving me as Christ loves his church.